Home Garden Companion

Ilona's Garden Journal

buy quality plants
  • Plant Library On The Journal
  • Garden chores
    • Do as I say
  • Ilona’s Garden Home
    • Old House Blog
    • Garden Librarian
  • Ilona’s Garden Flavor Shop
  • Privacy Policy

Garden Quotations

St. Francis Joke All About Gardens

A Christian Garden Joke

“One heavenly spring morning, God got into a

conversation with St. Francis about lawns. The

conversation went something like this…….

 

GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and

nature. What in the world is going on down there in

the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets,

thistle, and the other stuff I started eons ago? I had

a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. I created

plants that grow in any type of soil, withstand

drought, and multiply like crazy. The nectar from the

long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees

and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see down there

a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are

these green rectangles.

 

ST. FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord.

The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers

weeds, and went to great lengths to kill them and

replace them with grass.

 

GOD: Grass? But it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It

doesn’t attract butterflies, birds and bees, only

grubs and sod worms. It’s temperamental with

temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all

that grass growing there?

 

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great

pains to grow it, and keep it green. They begin each

spring by fertilizing their grass, and poisoning any

other plant that crops up in the lawn.

 

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make

grass grow really fast. That must make the

Suburbanites happy.

 

ST. FRANCIS: Lord, I’m afraid not. As soon as the

grass grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a

week.

 

GOD: They cut it?! Do they then bale it like hay?

 

ST. FRANCIS: Well, not exactly Lord. Most

“Suburbanites” rake it up and put it in bags.

 

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell

it?

 

ST. FRANCIS: No, sir — just the opposite. They pay to

throw it away.

 

GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize

grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut

it off and pay to throw it away?

 

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

 

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer

when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat.

That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of

work.

 

ST. FRANCIS: Lord, you’re not going to believe this.

When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out

hoses, and pay more money to water it so they can

continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

 

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the

trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say

so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to

provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn

they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to

keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and

bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to

enhance the soil. It’s a natural circle of life.

 

ST. FRANCIS: You’d better sit down, Lord. The

Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the

leaves fall, they rake them into huge piles, and pay

to have them hauled away, too.

 

GOD: No way!! What do they do to protect the shrub and

tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist

and loose?

 

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go

out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul

it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

 

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

 

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to

make the mulch.

 

GOD: Enough! I don’t want to think about this anymore.

St. Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts. What

movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

 

ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It’s a real

stupid movie about……..

 

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story

from St. Francis.

 

….Author Unknown ”

Ok , we are a whole different breed, but I thought it was cute. It came my way from a gardening newsletter that is very encouraging and worthwhile:

Steve Hallowell (no longer online)

and now, class, what have we learned? There is good reason to use mulch 🙂

and all the necessary ingredients are right under our gardening noses.


DISCLOSURE: I may be an affiliate for products that I recommend. If you purchase those items through my links I will earn a commission. You will not pay more when buying a product through my link. Thank you, in advance for your support! Privacy Policy
« Online Garden Reading, Or What’s Wrong With Internet Gardening
Fall Color in My Garden from Surprising Sources »

Oh, hi there!

I was a garden blog pioneer, and began writing on this blog in 2003. Before that I had begun a garden website that has been at its own domain since 2006, Ilona's Garden.

I still love writing, gardening, and art after all these years, although travel and grandchildren have become a big part of my life, now.

Standouts

Do You Grow Herbs? 10 Reasons To Love Them

There are so many ways to enjoy herb plants, that they are not for herb gardens only. Think about tucking them into the landscape, into containers or into your home. I do I enjoy thee? Oh, Herb, Let me count the ways! 10 Ways I Enjoy Herbs (and you can, too!) In companion plantings, herbs […]

10 Cool Season Annual Flowers To Plant

Shirley poppies and Bachelor Buttons Not every garden writer alerts you to the fact that annuals can have seasons that are shorter than other choices. For places like Ohio which have hot summers, there are common annuals that only do well when our weather is cooler, such as in early summer. Those flowers sort of […]

Newest Postings Here

  • HELLLOOOO, From The Other Side
  • February Gardening, Last of Winter in the Flower Garden
  • Compilation of Past Mini-Posts of 2003
  • Wayback in Ilona Garden Time
  • 3 Tips For Landscaping Successfully With Ornamental Trees

Finding your way home via the garden path


Read reviews from the GardenLibarian

Visit For A Spell

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Youtube
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Google +
  • Wanelo

Portrait of a Gardener

gardener musings

Musings

What’s Wrong With Today’s Gardening?

Modern gardening

What Is Wrong?

Garden Journal

fine garden journal

Journal, Planner and Log Book

Shop Small Trees and More

People’s Choice

Wayback in Ilona Garden Time

posted in Uncategorized

1910 garden plan

3 Tips For Landscaping Successfully With Ornamental Trees

posted in Landscape Design Know-How, Landscape Trees

Garden update

Mid-Ohio Gardening Update

posted in 2018, How's the weather?

All Season Garden Color with Bold Foliage Effects, Masterful Contrasts

posted in Garden design ideas, Landscape Design Know-How


Bonsai Trees

Stay updated!

Get all the latest tasty goodness straight to your inbox!

Topics

Past Posts

Join Me

  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Garden Enthusiasm

Garden Enthusiasm Delivered

* indicates required

View previous campaigns.

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2021 · Part of Ilona’s Garden by Ilona Erwin