A Christian-Garden joke for you:

“One heavenly spring morning, God got into a

conversation with St. Francis about lawns. The

conversation went something like this…….

GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and

nature. What in the world is going on down there in

the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets,

thistle, and the other stuff I started eons ago? I had

a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. I created

plants that grow in any type of soil, withstand

drought, and multiply like crazy. The nectar from the

long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees

and flocks of songbirds. I expected to seedown there

is a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are

these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord.

The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers

weeds, and went to great lengths to kill them and

replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It

doesn’t attract butterflies, birds and bees, only

grubs and sod worms. It’s temperamental with

temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all

that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great

pains to grow it, and keep it green. They begin each

spring by fertilizing their grass, and poisoning any

other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make

grass grow really fast. That must make the

Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Lord, I’m afraid not. As soon as the

grass grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a

week.

GOD: They cut it?! Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Well, not exactly Lord. Most

“Suburbanites” rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell

it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, sir — just the opposite. They pay to

throw it away.

GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize

grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut

it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer

when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat.

That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of

work.

ST. FRANCIS: Lord, you’re not going to believe this.

When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out

hoses, and pay more money to water it so they can

continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the

trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say

so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to

provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn

they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to

keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and

bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to

enhance the soil. It’s a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You’d better sit down, Lord. The

Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the

leaves fall, they rake them into huge piles, and pay

to have them hauled away, too.

GOD: No way!! What do they do to protect the shrub and

tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist

and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go

out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul

it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to

make the mulch.

GOD: Enough! I don’t want to think about this anymore.

St. Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts. What

movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It’s a real

stupid movie about……..

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story

from St. Francis.

….Author Unknown “

Ok , we are a whole different breed, but I thought it was cute. It came my way from a gardening newsletter that is very encouraging and worthwhile:

Steve Hallowell

and now, class, what have we learned? There is good reason to use mulch 🙂

and all the necessary ingredients are right under our gardening noses.