Home Garden Companion

Ilona's Garden Journal




mulch

St. Francis Joke All About Gardens

by

A Christian Garden Joke

“One heavenly spring morning, God got into a

conversation with St. Francis about lawns. The

conversation went something like this…….

 

GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and

nature. What in the world is going on down there in

the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets,

thistle, and the other stuff I started eons ago? I had

a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. I created

plants that grow in any type of soil, withstand

drought, and multiply like crazy. The nectar from the

long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees

and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see down there

a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are

these green rectangles.

 

ST. FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord.

The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers

weeds, and went to great lengths to kill them and

replace them with grass.

 

GOD: Grass? But it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It

doesn’t attract butterflies, birds and bees, only

grubs and sod worms. It’s temperamental with

temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all

that grass growing there?

 

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great

pains to grow it, and keep it green. They begin each

spring by fertilizing their grass, and poisoning any

other plant that crops up in the lawn.

 

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make

grass grow really fast. That must make the

Suburbanites happy.

 

ST. FRANCIS: Lord, I’m afraid not. As soon as the

grass grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a

week.

 

GOD: They cut it?! Do they then bale it like hay?

 

ST. FRANCIS: Well, not exactly Lord. Most

“Suburbanites” rake it up and put it in bags.

 

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell

it?

 

ST. FRANCIS: No, sir — just the opposite. They pay to

throw it away.

 

GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize

grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut

it off and pay to throw it away?

 

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

 

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer

when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat.

That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of

work.

 

ST. FRANCIS: Lord, you’re not going to believe this.

When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out

hoses, and pay more money to water it so they can

continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

 

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the

trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say

so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to

provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn

they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to

keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and

bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to

enhance the soil. It’s a natural circle of life.

 

ST. FRANCIS: You’d better sit down, Lord. The

Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the

leaves fall, they rake them into huge piles, and pay

to have them hauled away, too.

 

GOD: No way!! What do they do to protect the shrub and

tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist

and loose?

 

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go

out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul

it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

 

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

 

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to

make the mulch.

 

GOD: Enough! I don’t want to think about this anymore.

St. Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts. What

movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

 

ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It’s a real

stupid movie about……..

 

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story

from St. Francis.

 

….Author Unknown ”

Ok , we are a whole different breed, but I thought it was cute. It came my way from a gardening newsletter that is very encouraging and worthwhile:

Steve Hallowell (no longer online)

and now, class, what have we learned? There is good reason to use mulch 🙂

and all the necessary ingredients are right under our gardening noses.

Different Mulches

by

Mulch
garden fork and mulch

Fingerling potatoes possess distinct flavor was the headline,  and I was looking up how to use the fingerling potatoes I had bought to best advantage. While on the page I saw a notice on cocoa mulch.

…Which led me to thinking about mulches. That is the topic for today’s post.

 

Mulches

Just thought I would use this as a jump-off for talking a bit about mulches. In years such as this, with unusual amounts of moisture, it might be wise to use less, but normally mulch is needed for several reasons.

  • In winter it protects plants, not the least from heaving out of the ground through frost action.
  • In summer it conserves moisture and smothers weeds.
  • At any time, an organic mulch will add humus to the soil. Although at first it takes some of the nitrogen to break down. (That is why you are cautioned not to use unfinished compost, and add a bit of fertilizer to new mulches.)

Cocoas Hull Mulch

I don’t use this stuff myself, and it is not readily available in the North for some reason, but my sister in Tennessee used some. I dislike the smell.

I suppose for those who are making choices they may want to keep in mind its poisonous qualities for the neighbors dogs. Unless of course you have a vendetta against a particularly yappy and digiferous dog. I’m kidding. I’m KIDDING!

Cypress Mulch

Presently we use cypress mulch, but I am not particularly enamored with the look of it. But it does the job at a reasonable price. I have a little short cut I use for mulching. Used Newspapers. Yep, recycling at it s best. I only use this under ornamental plantings, since you have to be careful of the inks used leaching into the ground if you are growing food. But most newsprints with regular black inks are fine for ornamentals. The method is to put thick blocks of paper down and then cover it with the bark mulch. It causes the mulch to last longer and it suffocates the weeds better. It is also an answer to ridding oneself of stacks of newspapers.

Pine Bark

My favorite is pine bark, but we don’t use it much, ever since I read that more insects and diseases are piggy-backed into the garden with this type. I don’t know if that is true, but cypress is more insect repellent. I absolutely love the smell of pine, though. I like to camp in pine woods, and walk under the soft quietness of pines. It is cathedral-like as often described. With its own form of incense. The use of pine bark mulch has a reminder of that fragrance.

There are different choices and theories on when to apply the new mulch. Some feel it attracts rodents to apply it too soon in the fall. Some feel it encourages bulbs to sprout prematurely. I often wait until after Christmas, but last year was caught short by that. This year I will put it on through the fall as I have time and money. That seems to be the wise thing to do, since we are predicted to have a snowy and very cold winter.

We’ll see.

For much more information on mulch: Mulching is an important method for both water conservation and weed control. Mulch for Moisture

=====
Today I saw one of my crabapple trees is re-blooming. It is full of fruit (lost its leaves awhile ago due to fungal disease) and now has a sprinkling of blossoms. Sweet, but oddly out of season.