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The Dilettante’s Lament

06.08.10 | Ilona Erwin | 3 Comments

once upon a time

The trouble with my gardening, ..oh let’s admit it.. my whole life, is how widely interested, and thus shallowly engaged, I am with so many things. The only thing that gave me depth in my knowledge and experience of gardening has been two factors. I had no money, and having a lot of kids to raise meant I had to find something around the home that kept me sane. Gardening served on all counts.

But now that my life includes more travel (anything is more compared to those past childraising, no-money years), and the internet providing all sorts of new options for my mind to engage, I find gardening is taking a back seat. Not that I want it that way, because I have come to love gardening for many more reasons than its calming effect on my mental health. I love the environment it can provide, the science of it, and the art of it… as well as its spiritual aspects. Yet, the practice of it has languished.

This year, I sorrowfully mowed down my main flower border. At its height of glory it had been the culmination of carefully planned color harmonies and seasonal interest. Billows and twinings, spires and mounds, rich scent and subtle texture, all were found in my mixed perennial garden, now faded in memory like the shades of a Greek tragedy.

I will spend many hours this winter planning the future of my garden’s direction. Besides less time for it, I must face real restraints on the work I exact from this body, now looking back at the half century mark. It isn’t that aging forbears working in a garden, but that it requires less distractions of time and energy to accomplish it. A Dilettante’s crisis of indecision, and the inevitable prioritizing of interests.

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About Ilona Erwin

I was a garden blog pioneer, and began writing on this blog in 2003. Before that I had begun a garden website that has been at its own domain since 2006, Ilona's Garden.

I still love writing, gardening, and art after all these years, although travel and grandchildren have become a big part of my life, now.

DISCLOSURE: I may be an affiliate for products that I recommend. If you purchase those items through my links I will earn a commission. You will not pay more when buying a product through my link. Thank you, in advance for your support! Privacy Policy

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Comments

  1. johanna_lea says

    August 7, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    hello ilona-
    i have always referred to myself
    as a “dilletante” farmer…
    dilletante means “lover of spirit”
    i’m comfy with that! i have also
    been wrestling with the scope of
    youthful energies – have had to
    reduce the expanse of garden beds
    and all the plants i care for…
    i lost three bonsai to the heat
    this year, yet i’m less devastated
    then i thought i’d be…
    just less to water!
    i dont know if its this infernal
    weather, or just gathering in,
    and conserving my energies.
    i certainly love all the little
    blooming spots, but my garden world is shrinking a bit.
    i can certainly empathise!

    your “old pal” j.

  2. johanna_lea says

    August 7, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    my brain is a slug this hot+humid
    morning. 78 @ 8 AM, sticky.
    i really CAN spell dilettante!

  3. Ilona says

    August 9, 2010 at 1:23 am

    I did the same misspelling- but spellcheck caught it;)

    The heat really bothers me- and it does make you feel very laissez faire. Just give me a cold mint tea and a spot in front of a fan;)

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I was a garden blog pioneer, and began writing on this blog in 2003. Before that I had begun a garden website that has been at its own domain since 2006, Ilona's Garden.

I still love writing, gardening, and art after all these years, although travel and grandchildren have become a big part of my life, now.

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