Sometimes I think it is life, and its demands that master me, and not me in charge of my life. Do you ever feel that way? It was as I tried to compile my day’s list of garden task “to-do”s that it glared out at me: I was wishing I could just enjoy puttering away in the garden…. and instead I was trying to shoehorn a few chores in between the other demands (listed in an earlier post). It rudely entered my thinking that I keep waiting to enjoy life while taking on too many demanding obligations. Why do I do that?
I guess I don’t want to let go of the promise of what I believe accomplishing those tasks will somehow acquire for me. But what do I lose in the meantime? I lose blue skies and the scent of roses. I lose integration with the flow of life. I lose my place and sometimes my composure.
I have a half awareness of a realization that part of this conflict is simply attitude. There is a lot to be said about finding joy in the moment – and not always looking to the horizon of the little checklist of how many jobs got done, and how many are yet to do.
Since this is Thursday, and it’s been awhile since I posted a “Thankful Thursday post over @ TrueGrit …maybe that is an exercise that I should resume. I don’t know, but I think perhaps the way out of this maze of endless task-oriented thinking is to immerse myself in the gratefulness for the sights, scents, and the sense of the plenteous good of daily life. There really is so much blessing in life, and no one is able to have first hand experience of that as much as someone in touch with the good earth. A garden is a place of communion, first of all, and if we are too busy to engage in that maybe it is time to examine whether we are too busy.